Keeping a Blog up to date is not something I will probably ever be good at, and I know it’s a little behind when I get calls from people wanting directions to my parents house so they can come visit me. They seem to be surprised when I tell them that I moved back to my own house almost a month ago.
I still need help with my daily wound care so I go back to my parents’ house every afternoon to take a shower and change my bandages and compression garments. The only spots that are having trouble healing are my elbows and the occasional new friction blister on my arms, other than that my skin seems to be healing well.
I spend most of the morning in bed where it is warm and my stretching is a bit less painful and then try to get a quick workout before the stretch is gone. It's a little frustrating to get to the gym three blocks from my house after spending all morning stretching and have to re-stretch all over again. For the past week or so my right arm seems to stay stretched out a little longer but my left arm gets tight very quickly. My legs are doing quite well but still get tight if they are in the same position for too long. My tooshy starts to ache if I sit on it for more than 45 Min but is also getting better.
Wearing my masks is something I should probably wait to discuss on a later post because right now my description of them would likely be laced with curse words.
I’ve started new posts a couple of different times but never posted them because everything I was writing seemed to sound really negative. Even though It’s hard to find many positive aspects of what I have to deal with I don’t see why I should let it turn me into a negative person. However, I think I should allow myself a couple of negative paragraphs just to try and get it out of my system…
Within the thirty three years that I have been on this planet I have had more close calls and been in more sketchy situations with the potential outcome of serious injury or death then most people I know. Every time I’ve been able to walk away with a new scar or some new teeth and always with a new story to tell, and always thinking that I’ve learned something from the experience, mostly what Not to do next time I find myself in the situation. Some of my friends might remember my philosophy of “if you’re not hurting then you’re not riding hard enough”, or something that relates to No pain No gain. Of course this way of thinking is what put me in most of those Sketchy situations. Even though this philosophy applies mostly to my hobbies and sports that I love to do and has helped me to reach goals and push myself to learn new things within those areas, it also applies to all areas of my life. Whether it’s feeling the anxiety of quitting your job to start a company or the embarrassment that is felt when asking someone out on a date for the first time, despite being rejected or not. All the good things in my life seem to start out with a little (or A Lot of) discomfort.
(Here is my Negative paragraph so you may want to stop reading here!!!)
Since my accident my life has been turned upside down and I feel that I have lost control of my future. I’ve experienced a new level of pain that I didn’t really understand existed before and it has left me Physically disabled, emotionally broken and often times mentally drained. I’m having a really hard time grasping what I am going to Gain from all this Pain or what lesson Heavenly Father wants me to learn. It’s really hard to keep the negative thoughts of why me?, what did I do to deserve this? at bay when I see myself in the mirror and know that I am permanently disfigured for the rest of my life. It’s also hard to curb those thoughts when I think that within one year I’ve had the best thing and the worse things to ever happen to me, and the best thing may never be the same. It’s hard to be positive when the constant itching gets to the level where I can think of nothing else and on a nightly basis it wakes me from my sleep, while at the same time not being able to do anything about it for risk of further damaging my fragile skin. It’s hard to find anything positive after I wake up gasping for air from being suffocated by the mask that I am supposed to wear while I sleep and ripping it off in a rage of claustrophobia that results in damage to my still healing ears.
Sorry and Thanks for letting me vent, I’ll try to never let it happen again…